Peter Desantis ’19

It’s Sunday night. The Ravens just lost on a missed extra point– a point that the kicker, Justin Tucker, had made 222 times in a row before his attempt to tie the game. So all I wanted to do was go home and cry. But before I could turn on the shower and let the tears fall, I remembered that I signed up to write an article for the Rubble, and it was due by the next update,  which of course was Monday morning.

The long night ahead of me got me thinking about tomorrow morning: It’s gonna be rough and I’m gonna need some coffee; I found myself wondering where I should try to get some, and after pondering the matter for a significant amount of time, I decided that if I was going to use energy to ACTUALLY use my brain on a weekend, I might as well put it to use.

So, I present to you all, my complete analysis on the pros, cons, and everything in between, of the various places to get your caffeine fix for the day.  I’m going to attempt to answer the age-old question of which is the best, purely by using the scientific method I learned in Accelerated Bio freshman year. I may have gotten a C+, but I am confident in my abilities now. As I set aside my biases (slightly), come with me as I explore the nitty-gritty of the three coffee places I could think of.

 

**As a side note, I’d like to think of myself as a very progressive individual, therefore I will be using the new moniker “Dunkin’” as that is what it was recently changed to.

 

Many students wake up asking themselves the question: Did I wake up on time? Do I have time to get coffee? Can I think of a good excuse if I’m late to school? If the answer to any of these questions is “yes,” the next question is where to go. Brew Haha!, Starbucks, or Dunkin’? In this week’s article, I will be discussing all aspects of Dunkin’.

LOCATION:

Located on the outskirts of Wilmington, Dunkin’ is a go-to for many on their morning commute to work. The problem is, the parking lot at Dunkin’ is grossly inadequate for the number of people that come through the area. If you do wind up going there, be wary of the traffic and the irrational road rage that people develop every morning. I assume that the latter could very well just be my sister, but who am I to make such broad assumptions like that.

For all my fans living in Trolley Square and the surrounding area, I highly recommend Dunkin’, as most of you drive by it anyway, depending on your route. For all my friends in Hockessin, West Chester, Greenville, and all the other places in Pennsylvania I didn’t bother to Google, getting to Dunkin’ can be quite the hassle. My geography skills aren’t great, I’ll admit it.

I’m not sure where Kansas or anything like that is on a map.

I am however somewhat certain you need to drive past Tower Hill to get to Dunkin’ when you’re coming from places like West Chester, Hockessin, or Greenville. This is where I find a major fault in Dunkin’. When you have to go out of your way to get your coffee and food, you’re wasting valuable time– time being the most important thing in the morning for all of us here at The Tower Hill School. Extra time can be used to finish homework,  catch up on sleep, and even to try to finesse teachers and make it look like you didn’t forget a belt for the eighth day in a row.

My point is, you shouldn’t go out of your way for coffee and risk walking into assembly late and having everyone glare at you. Simply not worth it. Let it not be lost on you that I do, however, think Dunkin’ is a convenient place for those with ample time in the morning and for anyone who passes by it on their way to school.

 

FOOD & BEVERAGE

Whatever time you waste trying to make it there and park your car, Dunkin’ makes up for it by being the fastest ~by far~ at getting you what you ordered. And I know it seems like I hate Dunkin’ right now, but I have to say this: there is a reason a baby takes 9 whole months to be born (stay with me here), there’s a reason I spend an hour every morning doing my hair in the mirror. For something to be good, it takes time.

First, let’s talk about food. I for one love breakfast food, and will gladly eat anything handed to me from Dunkin’. It’s undoubtedly good food, but it could be better. The egg doesn’t taste like the real fake egg you would get at a different breakfast place, and sometimes, the cheese isn’t fully melted or fails to be flavorful.

I know it seems like I’m imitating Guy Fieri, but I promise you all I am not. Things like these really matter to me, and bad food could turn a great morning into a lousy one.

The hot chocolate and coffee at Dunkin’ are, in my opinion, delicious. When you’re walking into assembly and a teacher yells at you, telling you to put down your drink, you can be at peace. In no way will your hot drink be any colder when assembly is over, as it’s literally boiling when you get it.

High-key dangerous, not gonna lie.

This is, however, an issue for the iced drinks. From my experience, they put an excessive amount of ice in the drinks, causing them to become coffee flavored water at best. This is a big issue when you have to leave it in the lounge during assembly or when you go to class. There is no chance you will come back to a nice, delicious cup of caramel iced coffee or whatever else you ordered. This for me is a low point for Dunkin’, as I know many people enjoy iced drinks, including myself, and I’m disappointed so many people are being let down by the incredulous amount of ice in every single drink.

Moving on, I’m pretty sure I’m legally obligated to talk about the donuts at Dunkin’, for not mentioning  them would be a crime. They are the SGA’s #1 source of income, every bake sale’s most popular treat, and for freshman (I cannot stress this enough) they are the best snack to buy seniors if you want to be friends with them. Really. Just leave them outside of the senior homeroom, or inside in locker #7. Dunkin’ is  fo’ sho’ the best place to go if you want something sweet, and the only complaint I have about the donuts there is I wish I could eat more than eight in one sitting. To me, and probably to most, donuts are the most attractive part of Dunkin’, and rightfully so.

I’m probably rambling, but it’s 1 a.m. and I do not feel like re-reading this to check, so here is the last thing I will say about Dunkin’: The overall critique I have with them is that they have an inability to make high-quality food and drinks at a quick speed, instead opting for the lukewarm, mediocre sandwiches and watery iced coffee. There are highlights, however, including the coffee and hot chocolate, and of course, the donuts.

It is said that “Quality takes time,” which is why I think Dunkin is good. It isn’t the highest quality by any means, but for how inconvenient it is to get there, you get your order quickly, making up for some lost time. You may be sacrificing the quality of your food for faster service, but if you can live with that, I think you’ll enjoy your morning with a trip there.