November 2016

Boys Falls Down Well, Turns Out He Wants to Stay There

Jake Spruance ’19

*onion-esque article*

HOCKESSIN, DE — November 21, some time in the afternoon, local boy Billy Korowitz fell down a well at his grandmother’s house. “I had been trying to jump between the roof and the stone base, just like the parkour athletes do in the YouTube videos I watch all the time,” said little Billy when we were interviewing him from the top of the well.  “I really thought I could make it,” he continued, “because all of those other guys always do it and make it look so cool. I turns out, you know, since I have a bad leg from the last time I tried jumping off of that wall at Rockford, that I couldn’t quite make the jump.” Indeed, this boy with a death wish had previously attempted to execute a “very high” jump off of a wall at Rockford Park, but ended up landing on the camera which was supposed to be recording him. “I guess I don’t have the best hand-eye coordination,” he admitted, “but I still want to be a great parkour athlete. It’s a life skill. You never know when you’ll need to jump off of a wall like that.” Continue reading “Boys Falls Down Well, Turns Out He Wants to Stay There”

An Amazing Time To Be A Hiller

Louise Conaty ’17

We, here at Tower Hill, have a lot to be thankful for and proud of this past Fall. As we enter the Holiday Season and Thanksgiving break, I decided to compile a few of our school’s many accomplishments over the past couple of months. It is truly a wonderful time to be a Hiller. Continue reading “An Amazing Time To Be A Hiller”

This Article Has No Idea

 Bennett Fort’19

Last Thursday, I sat in the Rubble meeting at lunch.  I was quickly tasked by one of our two fearless leaders, Neil Godbole, to write an article to bring up the student body’s spirit.  I knew I had to write a satirical article, but what would I write it about?  I had no idea, and I continued to have no idea up until 12:00 am on November 13th.  At midnight, I decided I needed to inspire myself, so I packed up a backpack with a notepad, and at least three bottles of Red-Bull (I can’t remember exactly how many, but it doesn’t matter).  I busted out my front door and ran to the Philadelphia International Airport.  I purchased a ticket to the Amazon Rainforest and boarded a biplane which would drop me directly over the center of the rainforest.   Continue reading “This Article Has No Idea”

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them Review

Bennett Fort ’19

This Review Has No Spoilers

Ahh, what a wonderful day it is.  The Wizarding World that I grew up loving so much is back.  However, it’s not back in the way most fans expected (me included).  The one thing I want to iterate in this review is that Fantastic Beasts is NOT A HARRY POTTER MOVIE.  And me being me, believe that that’s not a bad thing.  The movie itself doesn’t need to rely on Harry Potter to be as good as it is.  And it is very, very good. Continue reading “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them Review”


Simi Olurin ’19

Because the report cards have come out, sending several students scrambling to do damage control with their parents, the first quarter of the school year has officially come to a close. The first two and a half months of school was a grueling period of time, with many long nights, challenging tests, and fits of spontaneous crying along the way. However, sometimes the school can get to you, not from the large-scale entities, but from the small idiosyncrasies that can no longer go unnoticed. The first quarter provided ample amount of time to accumulate a healthy list of pet peeves, so continue reading if you’re the kind of person who doesn’t like to complain because I am willing to do it for both of us. Continue reading “Rattled”


Simi Olurin ’18

Over the past few years, Tower Hill has taken many strides in order to keep up with the ever-changing landscape of mass media. The school has garnered a social network presence through the work of both faculty and students. Some assets to our internet presence are purely internal, and others reach beyond our own walls. Continue reading “Retweet!”

A National Crisis: The Dakota Access Pipeline

Neil Godbole ’17

It is a $3.7 billion dollar project that stretches across four different American states, with a total length of 1,172 miles. It could potentially shuttle in 470,000 barrels of crude oil a day, or roughly 374.3 million gallons of gasoline. All in one day. It would make the entire nation more self-sufficient and less reliant on foreign oil markets, most of which come from an increasingly unstable Middle East. It has been approved by the US Army Corps of Engineers and it seems like it will bring undeniable positive benefits to this nation.  There is, however, quite a different stance on the project. Continue reading “A National Crisis: The Dakota Access Pipeline”

Doctor Strange Review

Bennett Fort ’19

Quick Note: This review has mild-spoilers regarding one of the inciting of the film (It’s part of his origin story in the comics, so it isn’t really a spoiler, but yeah, proceed with caution if you want to not know anything about the character of Stephen Strange) Continue reading “Doctor Strange Review”

Clockwork (Short Story)

Matt Rovner ’17

The clock in the kitchen struck 7:41. He heard a scream. He picked up the duffel bag. It was time to go.

43 minutes earlier.  Continue reading “Clockwork (Short Story)”

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